Thursday, November 29, 2007

Things are starting to look up

Monday, November 26, 2007

*Warning* Sex Life Post

Sunday, November 25, 2007

My 36 Year old brother

Lets just call him Goth Freak. My brother is 36 and has yet to grow up and realize that wearing all black and thinking that dead people are super cool and fun to hang out with, just isn't normal.

6 weeks ago my grandmother's sister passed away and a week before that is when my brother stopped speaking to me. My brother and I are freakishly close and we talk everyday. Now my brother is also a Goth Freak and we have very different ways of thinking but I have always accepted his freakishness. He calls me 7 weeks ago, I am at the store trying to check out, my daughter is screaming bloody murder and I am trying to unload my cart on the belt and soothe her, (what the hell happened to the good old days when they emptied your cart for ya????) Goth Freak calls and says so Deb did you hear the good news about our Aunt??? I yelled, "Goth Freak I do not have the time for your negative shit right now!!!" I then hung up the phone. This exchange is normal for both of us and we always let the water ride under the bridge and love each other. That is how it has been for 32 years. But we are ultimately brother and sister and we move on. I call him everyday still for 7 weeks we have not spoken, for seven weeks he has not returned my calls.

So I ask myself what has changed and was what I did really that bad. I answer myself and say no it wasn't that bad, I mean damn Deb when you stole his car, blew the motor and pushed it back home, he never quit talking to you!! So then what is left is what has changed. What has changed is he has a new girlfriend that noone in the family has met. They have been dating for oh almost a year and are serious. So maybe she has some hold on my dear older brother. I am heart broken daily when he doesn't return my calls.

On Thanksgiving morning he calls my parents house and I answer the phone. Now I answered knowing it was probably him and also because my mom and dad where locked in their room getting ready. He said hey I am on my way there. Then he began talking and joking with me like no time had slipped by in these 7 weeks. I was so happy and so thrilled. So I asked him, So Goth Freak, are you talking to me again? To which he responds, um no you are a manipulative bitch and I want nothing to do with you what so ever. I said Oh and hung up the phone. I could feel the lump in my throat and the stinging of tears in my eyes as I slid punkernoodle off of my hip into her questioning daddy's arms and I ran from the house. I ran hard and fast until the sobs in my chest caused me to collapse. I curled up on the ground and cried harder than I have cried in years. I cried for the loss of my friendship, the loss of my brother, the loss of my one true confidant, but mostly I cried for my daughter. I wanted her to know and love my brother and now I fear that she won't.

After my dramatic cry I picked myself up off the ground and slowly walked out of the woods and back to my parents. I told Sparky what was said and said please just leave it alone, but he didn't, he told my dad.

Goth Freak showed up and hardly spoke to me except in the I have to say pass the potatoes. He refused to hold my daughter or play with her claiming that babies were weird and that they scared him. He was rude to my mother and my father. He was a complete and total ass, so much so that my dad said to me that he was thinking of asking him to leave.

I know that this is his new girlfriend. I know that my brother tries to be this deep dark dude and lies about his family and his childhood. He likes to say that I was given everything and he was given nothing and that he was beaten by my father. So she in turn has to say that our family is bad and he doesn't need us. My brother and I were not treated different and he got just as much love and support as I did. He just chose a different path. A strange and different look, he chose to be a freak! I mean for the love of all humanity wear something that isn't black and realize that yes Ann Rice wrote a very lovely series called the Vampire Chronicles, but they are found in the FICTION section of the bookstore not in the BIOGRAPHY, that means they are made up stories they are not reality!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thankful to be Home

I was so excited and thrilled as I loaded the family SUV and headed home for the holidays. I was excited to make punkernoodle's first Thanksgiving so very special, memories that I would cherish for what is left of my lifetime. I should however after 32 years with my family realize to never set my expectations to high and to never believe in happy gatherings.

I truly and honestly believe that my mother tried to poison Sparky and I Tuesday night so that she might raise our lovely Punkernoodle all on her own! My mother made some kind of grilled shrimp and her version of cannelloni. The salad she served I must say was delicious as it came from a bag, but was probably laced with ecoli! The shrimp were half cooked and tasted extremely fishy and I couldn't swallow a bite of the cannelloni, I spat it into my napkin. Scott was able to say it was very good but his mouth hurt so bad from having his wisdom tooth out. I on the other hand, ate my salad and feigned being completely full! Needless to say we were both up sick most of the night.

I spent Wed- Fri being my mother's slave. I made Breakfast all three mornings and cleaned her kitchen from top to bottom after every meal. I scrubbed the toilets and dusted, mopped and vaccummed her 3600 sq. foot home. I prepped everything for thanksgiving dinner, I made fresh bread, french onion soup, mashed potatoes, and all of the veggies. I did all of this with my daughter on my hip. My mother never once helped me with her and Sparky was off visiting friends. I never once got a thank you from my mother.

I did however get my mother telling me how to raise my daughter and trying to give her things to eat that she is not ready for. After countless hours of saying no mom she can't have that and explaining that her doctor said blah blah blah, and hearing in return well when you were a baby...and it is amazing you and your brother survived!!! I lost it. I threw down the only thing I have to make her shut the hell up and listen. I said, " You know mom I love you and I am going to try and be nice about this." "You raised me and my brother and did a great job, but this is my daughter and I am choosing to listen to her doctor when it comes to what is best for her and to listen to my own intuition as I am her care giver 24/7." "I hope that you respect me and what I say when it concerns my daughter because if you refuse to then you will not be allowed to be around her."

I hated this exchange with my mother, but I know what is best for my daughter and drinking coffee out of my mother's coffee cup at just shy of 6 months is not good for her!!!!

I had a similiar exchange with my 95 year old grandmother. She actually tried to tell me that I wasn't raising her right and that if I did raise her correctly she wouldn't rebel as a teenager. Really grandma??? Just where are you hiding the crack pipe? All children rebel. It is part of claiming independance from parents. I realize some rebel harder than others but all rebel! She actually told me that she didn't. I asked her didn't you frequent speak easy's and drink gin and dance to jazz in the 30s?? She said yes. I asked and weren't you raised SOUTHERN BABTIST??? That would be rebelling since until a few short years ago Babtists looked at dancing as communing with the devil and don't get me started on their views of drinking!

Oh how I love my family!

I am too tired to continue on about my brother and his non sense....that is another post.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I am Thankful

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Coffe Buzz And Weird Friend

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The soups for the Bread Bowls!!

Jalapeno Corn Chowder is super easy and super cheap. This recipe makes 4 quarts, so you have plenty to freeze and if you freeze it in a good tuperware it can last up to 6 months.

1 lb carrots
2 sweet onions
8 ears of fresh corn
6 jalepenos
4 oz veggie oil
2 32 oz cartons of chicken broth
10 cloves of garlic ( I just used a whole garlic head cause we like it extra garlicky)
1 Pint heavy whipping cream

heat oven to 450 degrees
rub a little oil on the 6 Japs and toss them in the oven for 15 minutes to blister them. While they are blistering. dice the carrots and onions and peel the garlic(leave it whole). In a deep skillet get the remaining oil smoking hot. Toss in all the carrots, onions, and garlic, you want it to char just a tad. stir ir occassionally.
Remove your Japs from oven and pop in the 8 ears of corn in their husks, roast them for 15 minutes, while you peel and seed the blistered japs. I strongly suggest wearing gloves for this, simply because I have a tendency to rub my eye and hour later and burn the shit out of my eyes! Dice the japs and toss in with the carrot, onions, and garlic. Take them off the heat as they should be good to go. Remove corn from oven and shuck it. Cut the corn from the cobs and pour into a decent size soup pot (remember this makes 4 quarts) Empty your skillet into soup pot. Pour i the 2 32oz chicken broth, bring to a boil, turn down heat and simmer for 30 minutes.
Now this is the tricky part.
I don't have a large enough food processor so I used my blender and it took me several batches in the blender but this is how I did it.
I got a work bowl that was large enough to hold all the soup. I laddled 8 ounces at a time into my blender and hit pulse a few times until it was the desired consistency, then I poured it into my super large bowl. Once I had down all of the blending I poured the soup from the bowl back into the large soup pot, then you add the pint of heavy whipping cream and let the chowder cook down to the desired thickness, I like it creamy so I simmered it for 20 minutes.

The garnish for this is 1 pint of sourcream with the juice of 1 lime and 2 tablespoons of cumin mixed in. You put one spoon of this mixture a little shredded cheddar and some tortilla strips.

I tell you what this is by far the best soup recipe I have. It takes a couple hours, but it is worth it!

Creamy Tomato Basil
4 1/2 lbs of Plum or Italian Tomatos Peeled ( to peel boil for 20 minutes and toss in an ice bath)
1 quart of chicken or vegtable broth
1/2 pound carrots
1 large sweet onion
several cloves of garlic I used 10
1 cup of fresh minced basil
Two tablespoons of Thyme
1 pint of heavy whipping cream
Olive oil
make a sachet containing 6 fresh thyme twigs, 10 whole peppercorns, 3 bayleaves

Dice carrots and onions throw garlic in whole (This is called Mirepoix just so you know!), put in skillet and cook until soft. Pour into large soup pot. Add whole peeled tomatos, vegtable broth, & sachet, bring to a boil, turn heat down to simmer for 45 minutes, add fresh basil and thyme, continue to simmer for 10 minutes.
Remove from heat, fish out the sachet and toss in trash. Process it however you can, blender food processor, whatever. I prefer mine to be a little chunkier, but do it how you like. Return to soup pot and add the cream, simmer it down to your desired consistency.

This tastes delicious in the rosemary garlic bread bowls I made, Let me know if you like it!


Okay so a few of you asked about bread bowls and soup recipes. So today I will give you the bread bowls, cause you can make them and store them.

Rosemary & Roasted Garlic Bread Bowls~!

1 1/4 cups warm water (105-115 degrees) I used the babies digital one to check
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons active dry instant rise yeast
4 cups of all purpose or bread flour
1/2 cup pine nuts
1/3 cup powdered milk
2 tablespoons of fresh minced Rosemary (If you need some I have tons I can send you!)
1 roasted garlic ( slice top off bulb, cover in olive oil wrap in foil bake 350 degrees for 45 minute) squeeze like a zit to pop out cloves!)
2 Tablespoons additional sugar
1 egg

Combine first 3 ingrdients in a 2 cup glass measuring cup, stir to comnine and let the yeast proof. This takes about 10 minutes just let it sit there it will become foamy and spongey looking.

I don't have a food processor so I did this part by hand, but the recipe says combine all remaining ingredients in work bowl of food processor and pulse 3-4 times to combine.
Add yeast mixture and process about 15 seconds. I mixed it up by hand and it took about 3-4 minutes. Now turn it out onto a floured countertop and knead the dough. Work into a smooth dough ball. This took about 3 minutes.
Put into a large lightly greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Walk away and watch tv for 45 minutes until it has risen and doubled in size.
When in doubles punch down dough (gee what does that mean? it means stick your fist in the middle of it, the dough will fall. Breack into 4 equal size portions and make into a dough ball (domed flat on bottom) Place on baking sheets (I used two) Take a serrated knife and cut 3 diagnol lines across the top of each bread ball, cover loosely with plastic wrap and let it be for 30 minutes. It should double in size.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, let cool on wire racks.

When it is done, slice off the tops and hollow out to fill with soup.

It really is so very easy. It sounds hard but if I can do it, so can you!!! If you are going to try it and need to have someone to call for help, just ask and I will give you my number and talk you through it! Best of ;luck!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Who are these people?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

How many can you squeeze in??

Friday, November 09, 2007

Finally Back.



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