Sunday, November 25, 2007

My 36 Year old brother

Lets just call him Goth Freak. My brother is 36 and has yet to grow up and realize that wearing all black and thinking that dead people are super cool and fun to hang out with, just isn't normal.

6 weeks ago my grandmother's sister passed away and a week before that is when my brother stopped speaking to me. My brother and I are freakishly close and we talk everyday. Now my brother is also a Goth Freak and we have very different ways of thinking but I have always accepted his freakishness. He calls me 7 weeks ago, I am at the store trying to check out, my daughter is screaming bloody murder and I am trying to unload my cart on the belt and soothe her, (what the hell happened to the good old days when they emptied your cart for ya????) Goth Freak calls and says so Deb did you hear the good news about our Aunt??? I yelled, "Goth Freak I do not have the time for your negative shit right now!!!" I then hung up the phone. This exchange is normal for both of us and we always let the water ride under the bridge and love each other. That is how it has been for 32 years. But we are ultimately brother and sister and we move on. I call him everyday still for 7 weeks we have not spoken, for seven weeks he has not returned my calls.

So I ask myself what has changed and was what I did really that bad. I answer myself and say no it wasn't that bad, I mean damn Deb when you stole his car, blew the motor and pushed it back home, he never quit talking to you!! So then what is left is what has changed. What has changed is he has a new girlfriend that noone in the family has met. They have been dating for oh almost a year and are serious. So maybe she has some hold on my dear older brother. I am heart broken daily when he doesn't return my calls.

On Thanksgiving morning he calls my parents house and I answer the phone. Now I answered knowing it was probably him and also because my mom and dad where locked in their room getting ready. He said hey I am on my way there. Then he began talking and joking with me like no time had slipped by in these 7 weeks. I was so happy and so thrilled. So I asked him, So Goth Freak, are you talking to me again? To which he responds, um no you are a manipulative bitch and I want nothing to do with you what so ever. I said Oh and hung up the phone. I could feel the lump in my throat and the stinging of tears in my eyes as I slid punkernoodle off of my hip into her questioning daddy's arms and I ran from the house. I ran hard and fast until the sobs in my chest caused me to collapse. I curled up on the ground and cried harder than I have cried in years. I cried for the loss of my friendship, the loss of my brother, the loss of my one true confidant, but mostly I cried for my daughter. I wanted her to know and love my brother and now I fear that she won't.

After my dramatic cry I picked myself up off the ground and slowly walked out of the woods and back to my parents. I told Sparky what was said and said please just leave it alone, but he didn't, he told my dad.

Goth Freak showed up and hardly spoke to me except in the I have to say pass the potatoes. He refused to hold my daughter or play with her claiming that babies were weird and that they scared him. He was rude to my mother and my father. He was a complete and total ass, so much so that my dad said to me that he was thinking of asking him to leave.

I know that this is his new girlfriend. I know that my brother tries to be this deep dark dude and lies about his family and his childhood. He likes to say that I was given everything and he was given nothing and that he was beaten by my father. So she in turn has to say that our family is bad and he doesn't need us. My brother and I were not treated different and he got just as much love and support as I did. He just chose a different path. A strange and different look, he chose to be a freak! I mean for the love of all humanity wear something that isn't black and realize that yes Ann Rice wrote a very lovely series called the Vampire Chronicles, but they are found in the FICTION section of the bookstore not in the BIOGRAPHY, that means they are made up stories they are not reality!!!!!!!!!!



Hill Country, US



My Wish List

The WeatherPixie

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

Who links to me?