Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Am I Alone?

Lately I find myself wondering just how healthy is it to look at the greener pastures and allow myself to fantasize. I know that I am never going to do anything. I also know that the grass really isn't greener and that this other person has just as many flaws as my husband, they are just different flaws. But yet I find myself fantasizing.

He has become a friend to my husband and we have weekly dinners with him. I realize that the only way to stop this is to stop the weekly dinners, to end the friendship because clearly I am not having healthy thoughts, but I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't want to hurt my husband by saying hey I can't get this guy out of my head. I don't want to tell this guy hey no more hanging out because I can't get you outta my head. I don't want to because, hey I really don't want to admit to all of this and look like a bad wife.

So how unhealthy is it really? Does my husband realize that everytime he leaves we have sex. Does he realize I don't open my eyes? Is it okay for me to spark up our sex life with this? I want to think this is normal. I want to say it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you always eat at home....But is all of this okay?



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