I had a long day and quite a few people made me use my brain and think today onbeliefs and why I believe those beliefs. It was enlightening and a little hard facing the music that is my belief system.
I was interupted from my thoughts with a call from the daycare that Sophia had a 104 fever. I rushed from work to get her and then to get her to the doctor. She has gotten hand-foot-mouth disease at daycare from another child. Nothing to do but let it run its course. She was only comforted by being rocked in my arms with cool compresses.
As I rocked her we talked. I told her the same things I always tell her. How she was wanted, how she was planned, how much she is loved. I tell her about my hopes and my dreams for her. I want her to grow up and be someone. I want her to not be afraid to stand behind her beliefs and convictions. I want her to have a voice. I would love it if we shared some of those beliefs, but really I just want her to be happy and kind.
She has finally fallen asleep. I am sure it will be a long night of checking and rechecking her and rocking and more story telling.
I honestly do not know how single mothers do it. I am exhausted and if I didn't know I would have Scott's help throughout the night I don't think I would be able to do it.