Dear Weekend Tourists--
I would like you for descending onto the small town of New Braunfels like flies on shit. It is so nice to be stuck in traffic while drunken college girls flash their boobs and all my daughter says is Momma ook ilk.
I floated the river with several thousand of you since the gas asses upped the prices so much we couldn't afford to leave this town. I watched as you threw cigarette butts, empty beers, full beers, jello shot containers, water bottles and zip lock baggies into my beloved rivers. As we floated I scooped up your trash and put it in my bag that EVERY outfitter provides to help keep our rivers clean. I kept my mouth shut. But seriously what are you??? A bunch of white trash niggers is what you are. I watched as women lost all their senses and did things that makes girls gone wild seem mild. I rolled my eyes, drank my beer and I kept my mouth shut.
I did not however keep my mouth shut when I saw you parading around town in your tiny bikinis with your swollen beer guts abounding. Do you not realize that wearing a teeny tiny bikini is the equivalent to walking around in your bra and panties???? I mean seriously did you think no one would say a word and let you eat at a restaurant without a cover up???? Please Beer flew from my nose when you walked in complaining it was cold.
Your mother would be so proud of how hungry your ass was that it ate your bottoms. I could not help but say honey put some fucking clothes on you are no longer on the river!
I am amazed and saddened by the generation that will no doubt be choosing what is best for me in my golden years. Are women older than me not doing their jobs teaching and raising their daughters???
So darling tourists who bring very little to this town fuck off. Clean up after yourselves when you leave and please for the love of god put some damn clothes on you are scaring the children!!!
The woman who said damn is your ass hungry????